Reflective Learning

Yesterday I was doing some reading to try and get ideas to help a client that is dealing with depression. I turned to a book that I have previously read by William Glasser. He was discussing our "total behavior" and how when we are not in effective control of our lives, many of us immediately think about using the total behavior we were born with, that of angering.

Anger is built in our genes to help us survive. But as young children, most of us learn that anger doesn't get us what we want, especially when we try to use it against adults that are also angering.

Although we are not aware of it, depressing is one of the most powerful ways that humans have discovered to restrain angering and many of us use it a lot. Depressing is a very strong controlling behavior.

It takes a lot of energy to block angering completely, that is why we are so tired when we are depressing. As long as we depress, we have little energy to do anything else. Depressing prevents huge amount of marital and family violence, therefore it is good that we are able to depress quickly and effectively. Some people dedicate their lives to this behavior, thus needing to be cared for. If they can figure out another choice to give them control over their lives, they might stop choosing to depress.

Depressing is a way we ask for help without begging. In fact it is the most powerful "help-me" information we can give to another person. The suffering others see, legitimizes our asking for help. Often times, depressing people will tell us how crippling their depression is, so others will know their suffering.

We all have a choice in what our behaviors will be. We need to either stop our behavior (depressing, angering etc.) or change what we want (Our Quality World).

Often times someone who is experiencing depression may think they would not choose to be this depressed. I would like them to take a challenge. Force yourself to do something physical for at least one hour. Something you enjoy. Notice that for a short time you are not depressing, you are not thinking about your unhappiness, in fact you may feel much better. When you are finished, you may start thinking about all the unhappy things in your life. To keep depressing you have to keep thinking the unhappy thoughts.


Taken from Choice Theory by William Glasser.

Gift Giving

This year I made quilts for the three little girls that were too young a few years ago to get theirs. They were mostly pink with yellow and blue. I ragged them. The other grandchildren were given nice sweatshirts with hoods. even the two babies got one. Sophia's was too small and needed to be returned. Corbin's matched Grant and Clay's.

Each year we rotate names with the brothers and sisters. Natalie is included with the brother and sister exchange.

The Christmas Nativity

Every year when my own children were young we would read the Christmas story found in Luke and act out the various parts. This year Tracie graciously invited the Christensen family to meet at her and Derek's home for the annual nativity. We have Mary, Joseph,and the baby Jesus being awed by angels and shepherds. There was a star that shone brightly.

We stop between the scripture verses and sing an appropriate song. Not shown are the three kings.

Christmas Parties

Friday, December 19, the Howard sisters held their annual party at LuJean's new home. It was a perfect place for the party. LuJean taught us how to make crocheted hats. So here we are all busy with our project. We talked and laughed, ate snacks, laughed some more, fixed dinner and laughed some more. It was just what I needed to release some tension from working hard.